Why Traveling With Peter Can Be The Best Thing You’ve Ever Done In Your Life Or Pure Agony On A Stick

As Pam was gracious enough to let the world in on what it’s like to travel with her and some things we all should know, I thought it best to throw my hat into the ring.  Mind you, before we all decided to spend 8 days in a car and 4 more days in Chicago together, we didn’t know each other that well.  Really, I only knew both Pam and Kelly from some tweets and a quick meetup.  So take this as a nice air clearing session for all us road trippers and a chance to say, "I told you so!!"

1. I ALSO CALL SHOTGUN - This might be bad news for Kelly, who, evidently, has no problem reading in the back seat.  Unlike Pam and I who tend to get woozy without a clear view.  I’ve gotten better over time but I still get a bit icky in the back seat especially if I try to read.
2. I BREAK INTO SONG EASILY - It seems just about anything anyone says makes some kind of connection in my head with a song lyric.  Sometimes improvised, sometimes verbatim.  And I’ll be happy to share no matter where we are.
3. I GET UPSET IF YOU DON’T CATCH ON TO MY OBSCURE MOVIE QUOTES - There was a guy named Joel who I used to work with.  Joel knew every movie quote I ever rattled off.  If you’re not Joel, you best be good at guessing.
4. STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS - I’m not that old yet, but I often forget stories I’ve already told people.  Stop me, please, if you have actually heard it.  Don’t humor me by politely laughing, just say, "Dude, old story"
5. FRUIT AND DESSERT DON’T MIX - Please don’t ask me if I want any fruit whatsoever on my ice cream, cake, or other tasty dessert.  I don’t know why, but I just don’t like fruit on my dessert.
6. I’D RATHER BE TWO DAYS EARLY THAN FIVE MINUTES LATE - This is an old adage for me.  And it’s something that I often live by when there is an important appointment.  I really do prefer to get to where I’m going first, then find water, food, fuel or whatever.  I’d rather spend two hours on the other side of a security check point in the airport than time it ‘just right’.  It makes me feel calm to know where a new location is first, then find the grocery store and not the other way around.
7. THE COPILOT HANDLES EVERYTHING - From decades of road trip experience, those who travel with me know just how true this one is.  A great copilot takes care of the pilot as in, opens packages or water bottles, reads road signs (my vision sucks sometimes), finds new music and reloads assault weapons.  I handle my own seatbelt but beyond that, I nee help to keep us all alive.
8. TECHNOLOGY FIRST, LOGIC SECOND - I will often keep making attempts to use technology to solve a problem long beyond a practical end time.  Like finding an exit….I’ll fiddle with the GPS and force it to do my will, rather than get out the paper map sometimes.  I often here the phrase, "why don’t you just…." a lot because of this.
9. I DON’T WORRY MUCH - While generally a good thing, this can annoy some people.  Something that may seem catastrophic to you at the moment, to me it may just be another bump in the road.  This often leads to others believing I have no empathy.  But that’s not true, I’m just not as freaked out as you are that we’re 140 miles from the nearest town and running on fumes. "It’s not time to worry yet." - Atticus Finch
10. SPEED LIMIT + 10 IS MY LIMIT - Really, don’t ask for more.  It’s not going to happen.  Maybe I was traumatized by getting 3 speeding tickets in 9 months time as a kid.  Or maybe it’s just I’m a financial wimp who doesn’t want to pay for a ticket or the increased insurance premium.  I just don’t speed any more.  Do I know how to?  Yes.  Will I?  Only to save our lives.  Or if there’s a really hot chick in a Ferrari like in the movie Vacation.
11. STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS - I’m not that old yet, but I often forget stories I’ve already told people.  Stop me, please, if you have actually heard it.  Don’t humor me by politely laughing, just say, "Dude, old story"

Beyond that, I’m fairly easy going.  I trust my gut a lot and it’s almost always right.  I can’t sleep just about anywhere like some people, but I’m perfectly fine muddling through.  Discomfort is just a part of life and nothing, include discomfort, lasts forever.

And I absolutely love being on the open road.  Even with a road (I-5) I’ve been down scores of times before, there is something about that wide open space coming at me at 60MPH.  Passing semis, sleeping on rest stop picnic tables, laughing at odd town names.  I can wait two more weeks before we launch for Chicago, but just barely.